College Application Essay from a Poorly Home Schooled Student

Deer Deen of Admishins.

My name is Rory McInglerod and I wood very much like to go to your fine univercity. As you may or may not have seen from my applicashin. I am a homeschooled student. My mom teacher says that I am very smrt and have a lot of potency in my learning brain. I have learned stuff like math and grammer and fingerpainting and home depot. I also know the outside of the mall very good. I named the pigins there. They are my friends. Anywhos. I really know a buncha things and wood make a valuble ass to your very pretententchus institoot. Your probly thinking *hey, why wood this smrt guy choose my school? He cood go anyweres.* Your right Mr. Deen. I cood go anyweres with my hi IQ number. But I choosed Arizona State becuz of you're hi moral standards. I am a Christin like all you're students and wood fit in easy. I also look forward to meeting a girl. I heard that ASU has girls and they even go to the same classes as the boys. And they also touch boys on their dingy-doos. My ant touched my dingy-doo once and I gotta say. It was weird. But fun. I digest. I am interested in more things than dingy-doo touchings. Like you know other things. Such as TV and pornograffi. I wuz a Royal Ranger in church and went to a circus once.

1 thing I wood relly like to be when I am old like you is a dish warsher at the White House. Can you imagine warshing dishes for the president? No you can't. It blows the mind. I wood also not mind being a Deen of Admishins. That seems like a very exciting carer. And very rewarding too also. Ok. Mr. Deen. I have to go do my chores. My mom teacher always gets peenut butter all over the dog and I have to clean it up. I have never seen a dog that loves peenut butter so much in my 37 years of life. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincearly your'es.

Rory McInglerod