Ass Soap

I don't know about the rest of you, but I give a lot of thought to make sure that ass doesn't touch my soap. I use a bar of soap in the shower. I do not use a loofa doofa or what not; not even a washcloth - just a bar of soap. Since I use the same bar of soap for my whole body & face, I must take precautions so I do not contaminate the soap and inadvertently get ass on my face. This is a very complex procedure and adds about 30 seconds to my 8 minute 13 second shower. It is worth it though, who wants ass up their nose. Not me. I won't bore you with the details of how I ensure the no ass barrier on the soap (If you want the details, ask Myesha as I gave her the hour long rundown a few years ago), but I'll tell you that the "ass hand" never touches the soap and the soap never ventures to the ass region. Doing this necessary and sanitary procedure means that I never have hairs on the soap. This data has made me hypothesize that if you see a hair on a bar of soap, it's touched ass and you should not use it. You know, this train of thought started with me being pissed off about domestic violence and ended up at ass soap. It is good to know that my social conscience can easily go back to being an immature idiot. So in summary: Ladies, if your dude hits you - fucking leave him and if you see hairs on soap, it's got ass on it. Goddamn, even I've got to admit that this is a weird one.