An Instance of Bad OCD

I've been thinking about this movie I saw when I was a little kid. It came on some Saturday morning in 1983 and the name of it was "All the Money in the World." I am compelled to write about it; I don't want to, I don't know the point, but I cannot focus on anything else until I write about this obscure movie I saw when I was six, so here you go. If for some reason I was forced to post this, you should quit reading right now - unless you're very bored.

My memory is hazy about it, but the plot of this masterpiece went like this: Some dumbass kid finds a leprechaun and gets to make a wish. He wishes for (as the title suggests) all the money in the world. Sure enough, all the damn money in the world "pops" into his house. Everyone freaks out and chaos ensues. Ronald Reagan is super pissed, so he calls Parker Brothers and declares that Monopoly money is the new US currency. However, Reagan didn't take into account how shifty leprechauns are and all the Monopoly money ended up at the little douchebag's house. The feds tried to take a page out of the Flintstones' book and introduced a clam based economy. Of course, all the clams in the world ended up at this rat faced kid's house. They even tried to use an economy based on underage Thai prostitutes, but you guessed it, all the hookers were transported to the tow-headed bastard's house. At the end of the movie, the kid realized the effects of greed and convinced the leprechaun to give him a wish if he blows him. Turns out that the leprechaun was not magical at all, but an Irish dwarf pedophile. Everything was resolved when the Masons called Satan and had him put everything right. Nobody learned anything.

Why I had to write about this movie is still a mystery to me. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me that I'm being greedy. I don't think I'm heading towards greed; shit, I'm a bad day away from selling all of my possessions and becoming a cross country transient. I have been hanging out with a short Irish dude, but I don't think he's a sex offender. Hell, he's always saying how he isn't and only wants a child's perspective when he loses his super cute puppy and needs help finding it. I tell him he needs to invest in a leash and he just laughs that creepy laugh of his. No, their must be another reason I am obsessing about this dumbfuck movie. I haven't even had a Thai prostitute in months, so that can't be it. I've paid my Mason dues and given the Devil his CD's back, so what the hell? Maybe I'm protesting something - money, Republicans, clams, children. Yeah, that's it. Children are stupid and if you don't watch out, they'll ruin the world's economy with their lame-brained schemes. I think that most, if not all, children are communists and their goal is to turn us all into cotton candy. No, that was "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." Now, THAT was a good son of a bitchin' show! You gotta rent that tonight!