About 9 out of 10 people misspell my name. What kills me is that some people act like they have never seen it spelled SEAN before. What about Sean fucking Connery, he's been around forever! And when they pronounce it SEEN, what the fuck, who names their kid SEEN? Fucking assholes! Anyway, it bothers me because being named Sean is very different than being named Shawn. Every Shawn I have met has been a redneck, trailer, or ghetto piece of shit. Every Sean I have met has been pretty fucking cool. (Oh yeah, the Shaun's are just plain weird. Red Tomato, what the fuck is that about? And the one guy I met named Shon was a wacko Jehovah's Witness-Mormon or something. He doesn't count either.) So here are a few differences between Sean's and Shawn's. Of course, you can't label every Sean or Shawn. There are probably some decent Shawn's and some asshole eating Sean's out there, but this list is probably 90% accurate. I know this list is not very funny, that is not my goal. I only want to educate everyone who sends me a fucking fax or takes my name down with Attn: Shawn that they are insulting me; and that, my friends, must cease.
*Sean grew up on the lake or in the 'burbs; Shawn was grewed up in a trailer park.
*Sean puts gel or other goop in his hair; Shawn gots a mullet.
*Sean drives a car, usually sporty; Shawn drives a pick-em-up truck with a gun rack in the winder.
*Sean's girl sits in the passenger bucket seat; Shawn's old lady sits right next to him on the truck's bench seat.
*Sean wears a baseball cap with some trendy logo; Shawn wears a cowboy or a Cowboy's hat.
*Sean punches in when he arrives at work; Shawn punches his old lady when she asks him to work.
*Sean does not deal with car parts; Shawn decorates with car parts.
*Sean gets his girl pregnant; Shawn knocks that bitch up.
*Sean drinks too much and acts like an idiot; Shawn drinks too much and beats the fuck out of Sean for being such a pussy elitist.
Now, what's my motherfucking name?
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