The state of our social affairs saddens me (ie: pisses me off). Take Friday night for example. I was at a bar and had zero intentions of hooking up with anyone. I just wanted to have a good time, drink some liquids, and talk a little shit. However, when I go to talk to a lady, we cannot have a decent conversation because she is wasting so much energy in trying to keep my dick out of her orifices. But the problem is, I don't want to fuck her at all, I just wanna hang out and shoot the shit. Having an aptitude for writing, I am naturally interested in people's stories and backgrounds. Real life is much stranger than fiction and you wouldn't believe some of the wacky shit people get themselves into. Very entertaining and inspiring. Realizing that I had to break this wall of cockblockery from a woman's mind to really talk to her and hear her story, I tried a little social experiment at the bar.
I was talking to this one girl and I could tell she thought all I wanted to do was be balls deep in her ass. So whenever she would say she was into something, like midget tossing, I would respond, "Oh, my girlfriend really loves midget tossing too." Thinking that if the chick thought I had a girlfriend, she would loosen up a bit and we could have an interesting conversation. It worked a little bit, but the girls still thought I was skeezy AND a philanderer. By this time, I was super drunk and decided to take the experiment to the next level. The next chick I went up to was beating dudes off with a stick. She was cute as hell, and didn't really fit in with all the other Snake Girls. I sat down, starting talking and she was a bit aloof. I then told her she had nothing to worry about and gave her a gay wink. You know what, once she thought I was a cock jockey, she totally opened up. Shit, by the end of the night, she gave me a big hug, told me she loved me, and that I was super cute. What the fuck!
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