Surgeon General's Warning

I generally think that I'll die due to my own stupidity. Like I won't be paying attention in the car, or I'll contract some ailment from my poor lifestyle; such as heart disease, liver failure, some STD I'll catch from having sex with monkeys, etc. I don't know that I've ever considered that I would die due to someone else's stupidity; but not anymore.

Since Sally is such a environmental unfriendly car, I have fill up with gas every other day. I actually got gas yesterday morning, but the pump was super slow. Add that to the fact that I was already an hour late and it felt like I was pumping gas in Antarctica, I gave up after only three gallons. That three gallons burned through quick, so once again, I was at the pump during lunch. As I pulled up to the pump, a Blazer drove up on the other side. A woman opened the door and she was smoking, which is retarded all around. I smoke, but I do it with as much common sense as one can have who is slowly killing themselves; eg: I don't smoke around children, closed spaces, and definitely not around thousands of gallons of highly flammable liquid.

Silently judging the woman in my head and making sure my testicles hadn't fallen off from frostbite, I didn't pay much more attention to her - until she started her car. Yep, this dumbass started pumping gas and then got back in her car and started the damn thing. Then, I saw to my left, her half smoked, still smoldering cigarette four feet from me and two feet from Sally. Also, to make things more dire, three streams of liquid were slowly inching their way towards the filter of death. (You can imagine the music running through my mind.) Granted, the liquid was probably melted ice, but I saw the rainbow shimmer that gas gives off when mixed with water. My only saving grace was that if there was an explosion, that bitch would be blown to bits along with me. Fortunately, there were indentions on the pavement in each of the stream's paths, which slowed them down long enough for me to finish pumping gas unscathed. However, I didn't drive off immediately because I needed to run in and get a pack of cigarettes.