Hey MAC Girl, I'm Talking to You

I was at the mall recently with a friend because she had to buy a pair of 'fat jeans.' (I'll never understand women as long as I live.) Anyway, we made our way past the senses-assaulting perfume and makeup area. As I passed the sneering women working the makeup counter, a universal truth appeared from the Obsession ethers: All women who work at a makeup counter are stuck-up, sanctimonious bitches. I have noticed this phenomenon at every makeup counter in every city that I have been in and it made me think, "Why?" You sell fucking makeup; why are you better than the insecure dude over in shoes or the lady in linens that won't make eye contact for fear of being seen. You act as if you have the most important job in the world, but seriously, YOU SELL MAKEUP. There are racks and boxes that essentially do the same job as you, so climb down and accept the fact that you are a failure in life. No one sets out to be a department store makeup clerk, it just happens. Hey, I'm sorry to be so harsh, but someone had to tell you this. You do get to put makeup on old people, and that's something. It's better than touching someone's feet I'm sure. Feel good about that, but not too good.