Tommy Tutone Never had to Deal with This

I was married when text messaging was invented and never really learned the etiquette. I personally just started using it last year and am slow as hell. One thing that threw me though was the role text messaging plays in dating. For example, I went out with a girl probably around ten times and the only time we made plans by telephone was the first time I called her. All plans afterward were made via texts. On one hand, it is a good thing since I write much better than I talk. I usually say stupid shit and immediately regret it, but if I am texting, I can delete the faux pas and no one is the wiser that I'm a dumb fuck. On the other hand, if you have psychotically low self-esteem such as I, texting is bad news.

First off, I feel like I shouldn't call the girl; I should only text her. That means, the task of asking her out stretches a two minute phone conversation into a three hour text-off. Here is an example:

Me: What do you want to do?

Sent at 7:45pm

Her: I don't care. Up to you.

Received at 7:49pm

Me: Well, are you hungry?

Sent at 7:52pm

Her: Yeah, I could eat.

Received at 7:59pm

Me: What are you in the mood for?

Sent at 8:02pm

Her: I don't care. Whatever.

Received at 8:17pm

Me: How about Mexican?

Sent at 8:20pm

Her: No, had that for lunch. Anything else is ok.

Received at 8:42pm

Me: How about Theo's?

Sent at 8:45pm

Her: Sorry, going there tomorrow.

Received at 9:12pm

Me: I went to Wendy's.

Sent at 9:15pm

Her: That's cool. getting late anyway. let's do something later this week. :)

Received at 10:35pm

Me: Sounds good.

Sent at 10:38pm

That leads me into my main problem with texting and dating. I'm a pretty cool headed guy and it takes a lot to get me truly angry. However, the one thing that pisses me off more than anything is a non-reply. I mean, it takes like two seconds to reply. From there, I start to wonder, "Maybe the text didn't go through," or, "What did I do wrong now?" and stew on it until I'm good and sauced and start sending out dickhead texts about how I really can't believe how I'm not worth two seconds of someone's precious time. Which results in them never talking or texting me ever again.